Om Shanti

Do you think that the world is in trouble? Surely you’ve all heard about the world coming to an end, but at the back of our minds we think, “I’m pretty sure the world’s not going to end tomorrow.”

We watch movies or TV shows with stories of people who are terminally ill, and then they’re told that they only have a year, 6 months, or a few weeks to live. If you were told you only had 6 weeks to live, what would you do?

Please don’t say crap like “I don’t wanna die a virgin!” I would honestly much rather hear someone say something cheesy like, “I want to leave behind a legacy” As Michael Jackson’s song would go, “There are people dying, if you care enough for the living, make a better place for you and for me”

Deep inside us we know there must be something we can do, even if we have a lot of years ahead of us. Unless of course, we die unexpectedly. (Okay, I freaked myself out right there while typing that sentence. What if this blog entry is like my one last shout out to the world?) To some of us, death can come to us like a thief in the night. Many of us probably don’t feel the urge to do anything about everything yet.

All these things came to my head when Jewel’s “Hands” song was played over and over in my head while I was coding. It never occurred to me until American Idol Season 7’s Inspirational week. David Cook sang Innocent by Our Lady Peace, Jason Castro sang Somewhere Over the Rainbow, and other contestants sang their song hehehe. We were watching it at home when I thought about what song I would sing if I were in American Idol. (Yeah yeah like you never imagined doing anything onstage). Two songs came to mind. One was Sarah Mclachlan’s “World On Fire” and Jewel’s “Hands”.

Read the lyrics below, to know how and why to save the world

“Hands”

If I could tell the world just one thing
It would be that we’re all OK
And not to worry ’cause worry is wasteful
And useless in times like these
I won’t be made useless
I won’t be idle with despair
I will gather myself around my faith
For light does the darkness most fear
My hands are small, I know
But they’re not yours, they are my own
But they’re not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken
Poverty stole your golden shoes
It didn’t steal your laughter
And heartache came to visit me
But I knew it wasn’t ever after
We’ll fight, not out of spite
For someone must stand up for what’s right
‘Cause where there’s a man who has no voice
There ours shall go singing
My hands are small I know
But they’re not yours, they are my own
But they’re not yours, they are my own
I am never broken
In the end only kindness matters
In the end only kindness matters
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
My hands are small I know
But they’re not yours, they are my own
But they’re not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken
My hands are small I know
But they’re not yours, they are my own
But they’re not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken
We are never broken
We are God’s eyes
God’s hands
God’s mind
We are God’s eyes
God’s hands
God’s heart
We are God’s eyes
God’s hands
God’s eyes
We are God’s hands
We are God’s hands

source: www.azlyrics.com

I love Fridays. It is the day of the week with the most potential, and is also probably the week that most people really look forward to. It marks the beginning of the weekend and it is the day where things like Friday the 13^th, Good Friday First Fridays happen.

All I really want to say is, I love Fridays specially this particular Friday because I can enjoy a lazy, cloudy afternoon at “home”. There’s no work, and I hadn’t made any particular plans which is cool. And I also have two non-working days ahead of me and I’m diggin’ it.  

Good Friday. It’s my first time being away from the family on a Holy Week. During this time of the year our family prays the Stations of the Cross and on Maundy Thursday we would hear mass. Just in case you don’t know, Maundy Thursday is Holy day of obligation. You better not miss mass on this day like I did because I could not make it because of work. I get off at 6pm and most masses start at that time. (Excuses… excuses…)

A lot of people go on vacation with their families on Holy Week, because back in the Philippines, this has got to be one of the weeks with the least number of working days besides the Christmas-New Year holiday. Although a lot of people say it is the perfect time to bond with the family, by traveling, going to the beach and such, it also is the best time for a family to get together and pray. Be involved and be aware of the Passion of Christ. Think about he got killed because of us. Emphasis on the word killed. He didn’t after all just die of some natural causes. He was murdered. I assume you (Christians) know why.

I am not being preachy here or anything. Believe me, I’m not as devout a Catholic as I hope to be, but I do try. I know I’m not one to preach but, show me a judgmental person and I’ll show you a hypocrite.

If I were with my mom today, I’d have been more careful about my fasting and do more than just not eating meat. For years, during the Holy Week, I would not turn on the radio. You guys should know that I am an avid radio listener. I used to say. I would be alive if you placed me anywhere just as long as I had radio (and in English please). Well, that was before the internet.

So that’s that. I hope you guys, who say are not skipping on meat because their fasting on other things anyway, are actually fasting on these said things. I used to also try fasting on complaining; come to think of it this is one area everyone should “fast” on every day. Seriously.

Have you heard the song “Locked In a Cage” by Skillet?

I just found out yesterday that they are a Christian band. I was checking out the lyrics of their other songs because the lyrics of “Locked In a Cage” got me wondering. You wanna know why?

Here’s part of the song’s lyrics:

I wanna break my legs
In case a thought to escape
Keep the hammer out of my reach 

If my pounding impulse comes
Wrapped up inside your arms
Locked up inside you

Well  I like the song because it’s nice and my very close friend (as in friend since kindergarten) likes this song too and she and I used to sing songs like this a lot but what we like about the song is the beat mostly hehe and for me, this part of the song also..” You bring calm to my rage“. Yeah, it’s a teensy weensy line but it says a lot  

Well, another one of their lyrics I really love, but I haven’t heard the entire song yet It, in a sense gave me a message. Something that God might want to relay to me Maybe after you read the lyrics of “Safe With You” you might also remember how nice it was when you were closer to God too

Learning inside
I will be safe with You tonight
You cause the smile and the teardrops in my eyes
Locked inside Your every movement
Will I stand or will I fall?
Trapped inside Your walls of glory
I am just as the dead leaves fall
Chaos in my head
The whole universe is at rest
When I’m in Your arms is when I feel the best
Locked inside Your creative being
Whirled about in Your unfailing truth
Attacked with power by ferocious love
Salvation alone belongs to You!
Lifting up my voice to the God who really sees
The God who is consumed with loving thoughts of me
The screaming winds
And the crashing of the oceans
Shifting sands and the changing of the seasons
As I stand in awe and wonder
Nothing in the world has prepared me for You!
Jesus, Jesus I’m safe with You

www.lyricsdownload.com

There’s not a single line for me to pick as a favorite because I love all of it

You’re together for seven years but in the last 2 months of those seven years you both accept that nothing at all is certain, then you decide there’s no room for promises or plans for the future. Whatever will be, will be.

How are you going to feel?

When you started, you always had something to look forward to. You wait, but there are no promises made between the two of you, nor are there any plans. How’s it going to be, being in this situation and having to wait indefinitely?

I don’t know. You tell me.

Boy is my blog depressing…

I wrote a song again today.

I want someone to sing these songs for me. I can’t write them completely with notes, I’ll be needing a keyboard, we no longer have a piano at home Or maybe I could sing it to some ppl and have them do the widowing. Heheheh

As you fall asleep, I lay here beside you

Savoring the time, when you are with me

As you start to dream, I lay closer to you

Please don’t hear me cry, don’t want to say goodbye

Lie on the grass where dreams are first spoken

Under the star-dotted sky, the moon has lit

Lovers all over desperately hopin’

For the other to say,

I will wait for, I will wait for you

Just as you left me, just how you met me

I am here for, I am here for you

Wanting you to stay, Listening to you say

Please wait for me, Love

You get ready to leave, I’m standing before you

For the last time I hold you, then you see me cry

Go ahead start walking, I can’t look straight at you

Please don’t watch me cry, don’t want to say goodbye

Lie on the grass where dreams are first spoken

Under the star-dotted sky, the moon has lit

Lovers all over desperately hopin’

For the other to say,

I’ll come back for, I’ll come back for you

Just as I promised, I’m being honest

I’ll be here for, I’ll be here for you

Just as happy to stay, Listening to you say

You’re finally here, Love

This song has no title. Any suggestions?

(is) Saying Goodbye.

The world I live in, is a world my own
My heart, my thoughts, my song, my home
Tonight I feel days closing in
I feel your angst that’s deep within
I try to fix what I cannot touch
Try just the same, though can’t do much
I reach for your tear’s delicate trace
I can only wish this kiss can erase
You are my own but not quite yet
I won’t go away only to regret
I have you I’ll hold you for as long as I can
My darling, my friend, my lover, my man
The world I live in, around you I hone
With you in it, it’s not just my own.
Saying goodbye is something you can never get used to and yet saying hello is something you’ll never get tired of.

I wrote this in the little going away present we gave our SV. I wrote it to him because I felt like I could relate to what he felt that time. To leave the one you cannot stand to be apart from. And for the other to be left behind and to wait for as long as what seems to be eternity. It’s a good thing they will be reunited again in about a week though.

The situation I am in right now, is different from theirs. In a few days, my lovey will be leaving again. Just when I was getting used to having him around. I know we don’t see each other everyday but it so comforting just to know that he is there. Not too far away. It’s so much different when you know there are bodies of water separating the two of you.

I never thought I was designed for a long distance relationship. I didn’t know I had the strength to go through with it, but I got this far and I there’s no way I am giving up.

I remember when we first started, people were baffled. Why commit to someone who’s to leave and study in Manila? It was difficult. With friends telling you not to expect too much but stuck with you anyway just in case anything went wrong (miss you girls). Family telling you you’re still too young. There was one thing they had in mind, it just would not last. But he and I had something in mind too, we knew what we got ourselves into, and we were going to try.

There are things we were willing to defy. We had people telling us to our faces, that relationships like ours (started young, high school sweethearts, long distance relationship ) will not last. And only 2 out of 10 people in this world get to marry their true love. How scary is that???

We’ll be celebrating our 7th year anniversary (7 yr itch?) in 4 months, we are not rushing anything we are dealing with things as they come, we are however, sticking to our plan.

He’s leaving again because of work and I am nothing but grateful to God, for sparing me of the heartache some girls go through, because He gave him to me. I pray everyday for him to be happy and for us to be okay. And when I say I want him to be happy, it doesn’t mean it has to be with me. That’s how much I care about him.

Again, saying goodbye is something I’ll never get used to. I understand that some people are meant to just pass by your life and leave a mark that will stick with you forever. But there are those whom you’d want to keep for as long as you live, your family, your close friends, and that person you’d love to be around with for all time. I will never get used to the long distance realtionship, I will never not miss you when you’ve been gone too long. I know you’ll be home for Christmas, and God knows I can’t wait for that day to come, even when you haven’t left yet.

I miss you. I’ll definitely miss you. I miss you already.

SKY.DEFY.TONIGHT.I MIGHT.YOU DECIDE.BE POLITE.I’D FEEL.UNTIL.TIME…

SKY
You give so much the world gives nothing to you

DEFY
All the things they tell us that we should do

TONIGHT
I capture that lost moment we once had

I MIGHT
prevent these things from turning very bad

YOU DECIDE
where you want to go and make me follow

BE POLITE
I just might give in to you, come tomorrow

I’D FEEL
my feet back on the ground for you

UNTIL
my thoughts come tumbling down into

with time…
When I wait too long you come round slowly
When I’m in such haste you’re in a hurry
Why not set the pace like your on my side
Don’t even run away, don’t you even hide

SKY
you make ones that are far away seem closer

DEFY
all the things that keep you staying further

TONIGHT
I write down all my thoughts of you in paper

I MIGHT
be deep in sleep, in dreams I’ll see you later

YOU DECIDE
if and when you’re coming back, whenever

BE POLITE
I might cry out to you to leave me never

I’D FEEL
you’d come right back so naturally

UNTIL
I’d have to set you free

in time…
When I wait too long you come round slowly
When I’m in such haste you’re in a hurry
Why not set the pace like your on my side
Don’t even run away, don’t you even hide