I Live for Fridays

I love Fridays. It is the day of the week with the most potential, and is also probably the week that most people really look forward to. It marks the beginning of the weekend and it is the day where things like Friday the 13th, Good Friday First Fridays happen.

All I really want to say is, I love Fridays specially this particular Friday because I can enjoy a lazy, cloudy afternoon at “home”. There’s no work, and I hadn’t made any particular plans which is cool. And I also have two non-working days ahead of me and I’m diggin’ it.  

Good Friday. It’s my first time being away from the family on a Holy Week. During this time of the year our family prays the Stations of the Cross and on Maundy Thursday we would hear mass. Just in case you don’t know, Maundy Thursday is Holy day of obligation. You better not miss mass on this day like I did because I could not make it because of work. I get off at 6pm and most masses start at that time. (Excuses… excuses…)

A lot of people go on vacation with their families on Holy Week, because back in the Philippines, this has got to be one of the weeks with the least number of working days besides the Christmas-New Year holiday. Although a lot of people say it is the perfect time to bond with the family, by traveling, going to the beach and such, it also is the best time for a family to get together and pray. Be involved and be aware of the Passion of Christ. Think about he got killed because of us. Emphasis on the word killed. He didn’t after all just die of some natural causes. He was murdered. I assume you (Christians) know why.

I am not being preachy here or anything. Believe me, I’m not as devout a Catholic as I hope to be, but I do try. I know I’m not one to preach but, show me a judgmental person and I’ll show you a hypocrite.

If I were with my mom today, I’d have been more careful about my fasting and do more than just not eating meat. For years, during the Holy Week, I would not turn on the radio. You guys should know that I am an avid radio listener. I used to say. I would be alive if you placed me anywhere just as long as I had radio (and in English please). Well, that was before the internet.

So that’s that. I hope you guys, who say are not skipping on meat because their fasting on other things anyway, are actually fasting on these said things. I used to also try fasting on complaining; come to think of it this is one area everyone should “fast” on every day. Seriously.

Oh It’s You Again!

These past few days have been really cold. And lately, I have also gotten so thirsty. The combination of drinking lots of water and the cold weather can result to some uneasiness. I have to get up every so often to go and pee.

In the restroom, I met one of my officemates who belongs to a different team, we’re not that close but we definitely say “hi” when we meet each other in the halls.

So, the second of the dozen times I’ve gone to the restroom, I bumped in to her.

Girl: Hi!

Me: Hello! :)

After washing our hands and checking ourselves in the mirror, I go dry my hands and she opens the door to leave.

Girl: See you!

Me: See you! :)

Then, after a glass of water I drank a little after lunch, I had to go back to the ladies. There she was again! As I stepped out of the cubicle, she was there and we looked at each other and smiled a Haha-it’s-you-again smile.

Around 4pm, again I had to go to the loo. As I got in the ladies, she was there and I went like, “So we have the same schedule? :) ” And she laughed a little. That was how we greeted each other.

1st Time: fine

2nd Time: Amusing and still fine

3rd Time: Awkward. It’s not like we will have to say hi again so I had to improvise because we both looked pretty stressed out from work.

4th Time: Haha yes there was the 4th time, and it went like this…

Once again, stepping out of our restroom cubicles at the same time, she had her shocked and amused face on. Without smiling and putting on a shocked face (again without smiling) I exclaimed, “Oh my gosh! Déjà vu!”

And she laughed, as if we had been friends for a long time already. It felt good.

Maybe the next time we bump into each other again, we’d actually have a real conversation.

Somebody Save Me

Humor me, give me something fun to do, or throw me something to do that is worthwhile.

At times like these, I wonder why even still look forward to weekends. Not to mention that this particular weekend, the rain has been pouring non-stop. It was fine when I got up this morning; it made me stay in bed later than I normally could. Then the rain thought it was so cute that it greeted me the way it did today. It’s not cute. It’s alright of it rains as long as it doesn’t go on the whole freaking day.

I am beginning to not like weekends as much as I used to. There’s just not much to do except do chores, clean up, cook, go to mass, pay bills. I need some excitement or may be something to do that’s other from the norm. What pisses me off is that I have tried so hard, even too hard to fill my time. I even started reading again. Since I don’t have a lot of books, as a matter of fact I just have one, and I am almost finished with it. I try and not finish it yet and sleep instead. Sleeping is fine but I also don’t like throwing my weekend away just like that. Back in Cebu, I had television, in here, TV doesn’t count. We don’t have cable and I personally don’t think it is worth the money, because we won’t be able to enjoy it as much as we would like anyway.

I’m frustrated. I think I am about to throw a fit but I know I won’t so I think about it and I occasionally grunt. It’s because my boyfriend is here with me but I have never felt lonely as hell. When my face shows that I’m bored to death, he asks me what I want to do and it pisses me off that I don’t know what I can offer him that can amuse him just as as much as playing DOTA with his friends would. I can see how disappointed he is when I see him looking at me, not doing anything. Actually, I am just waiting for him to again sweep me off my feet without having to pout. To be honest, I don’t ask much from him. I never do. I just can’t believe I have waited close to 8 years to be with him, and then this is all that actually happens. I mean hello, I wasn’t even expecting a fairy tale. Shit.

While he is in front of the laptop I go to my room and lay there and think about other couples and how jealous I am because they do things together, not forcefully and they enjoy things that they do together, I mean really enjoy. I guess it is also because they have only been together for so long ( this is what I try to tell myself ). And I also think about the times when we were apart for months at a time and I would wonder how it would be like being together, seeing each other every single day. I haven’t even enjoyed the blissful stage yet. We’re not even married yet for crying out loud!!!

Is it because ever since before I have always played it cool. Not demanding anything from him. I always tried to be more of a friend than a girlfriend as much I could muster because we were apart for the 7 years of our relationship. We just recently had our 8th anniversary. I don’t know. I love him to death (gugmang gi-atay). I just wish we weren’t through with the blissful stage yet. I was expecting that but I never thought it would come even before the wedding. It’s sad, but it is the truth. Grabe I try to make him happy with me but the only way I know how to make him happy is to do stuff that doesn’t necessarily involve me, like playing PC games which I suck at by the way. And by playing these games I also get him frustrated because I’m no good at it. Wahahahahah! I’m no gamer! Again, this is one of the things I enjoy doing but am not good at.

Damn it. I wish I were the type of girl who the boyfriend never gets enough of. I must have pushed him away way too much and way too early in our relationship. Although it doesn’t seem too obvious I try to always do things right. I have my curfew, I took care of studies first, and I take care of work first, so you know I am the good girl. Apparently sometimes, good girl = boring girl.

Maybe it would have been better if I was the Miss-always-right girlfriend. The bossy girlfriends get hold of their boyfriends better. I wonder what it is like to be like them.

Ngano bitaw nag uyab2x na bata pa! (Indirect Translation: That is what you get for getting into a serious relationship at a very young age!) –> Man, this is said so much better when said in vernacular.