(is) Saying Goodbye.
The world I live in, is a world my own
My heart, my thoughts, my song, my home
Tonight I feel days closing in
I feel your angst that’s deep within
I try to fix what I cannot touch
Try just the same, though can’t do much
I reach for your tear’s delicate trace
I can only wish this kiss can erase
You are my own but not quite yet
I won’t go away only to regret
I have you I’ll hold you for as long as I can
My darling, my friend, my lover, my man
The world I live in, around you I hone
With you in it, it’s not just my own.
Saying goodbye is something you can never get used to and yet saying hello is something you’ll never get tired of.
I wrote this in the little going away present we gave our SV. I wrote it to him because I felt like I could relate to what he felt that time. To leave the one you cannot stand to be apart from. And for the other to be left behind and to wait for as long as what seems to be eternity. It’s a good thing they will be reunited again in about a week though.
The situation I am in right now, is different from theirs. In a few days, my lovey will be leaving again. Just when I was getting used to having him around. I know we don’t see each other everyday but it so comforting just to know that he is there. Not too far away. It’s so much different when you know there are bodies of water separating the two of you.
I never thought I was designed for a long distance relationship. I didn’t know I had the strength to go through with it, but I got this far and I there’s no way I am giving up.
I remember when we first started, people were baffled. Why commit to someone who’s to leave and study in Manila? It was difficult. With friends telling you not to expect too much but stuck with you anyway just in case anything went wrong (miss you girls). Family telling you you’re still too young. There was one thing they had in mind, it just would not last. But he and I had something in mind too, we knew what we got ourselves into, and we were going to try.
There are things we were willing to defy. We had people telling us to our faces, that relationships like ours (started young, high school sweethearts, long distance relationship ) will not last. And only 2 out of 10 people in this world get to marry their true love. How scary is that???
We’ll be celebrating our 7th year anniversary (7 yr itch?) in 4 months, we are not rushing anything we are dealing with things as they come, we are however, sticking to our plan.
He’s leaving again because of work and I am nothing but grateful to God, for sparing me of the heartache some girls go through, because He gave him to me. I pray everyday for him to be happy and for us to be okay. And when I say I want him to be happy, it doesn’t mean it has to be with me. That’s how much I care about him.
Again, saying goodbye is something I’ll never get used to. I understand that some people are meant to just pass by your life and leave a mark that will stick with you forever. But there are those whom you’d want to keep for as long as you live, your family, your close friends, and that person you’d love to be around with for all time. I will never get used to the long distance realtionship, I will never not miss you when you’ve been gone too long. I know you’ll be home for Christmas, and God knows I can’t wait for that day to come, even when you haven’t left yet.
I miss you. I’ll definitely miss you. I miss you already.
